There are plenty of people who talk about God—but far too many who have used Him to cause fear, control, or harm. If your understanding of God has been shaped by religious hurt or church trauma, this reflection isn’t here to argue with you. It’s simply an offering about who God has been to me.
I’m not here to debate doctrine or convince you of anything.
I just want to tell you who I believe God really is.
God is love.
First and foremost.
Scripture says this repeatedly, but more than that, my own faith journey has proven it to be true.
God does not wait for us to become healed, holy, or “put together” before drawing near. He wants relationship with us in our messiest, darkest seasons. Not perfection—just an open heart.
God is eager to speak if we’re willing to listen.
When our eyes turn toward Him, His attention is already on our path—steadying us, guiding us, keeping us from stumbling. He does not demand we perform; He offers presence.
For a long time, I struggled with verses that talk about “fearing the Lord.” They didn’t sound like a healthy relationship—and they didn’t reflect my lived experience with God.
And this is coming from someone with chronic anxiety. Fear has been my default setting for most of my life.
Yet fear has never been the language God used with me.
In fact, He’s the reason I can move through fear instead of being ruled by it.
I trust Him. I find comfort in His presence. And I believe that presence is real—something we can actually experience. God wants relationship. He wants closeness.
He is the only presence I’ve known where I don’t feel the need to hide parts of myself.
That doesn’t mean God never corrects us. He does. But correction from God is not punishment. He reveals what is ready to be healed and then walks with us through that healing—through scripture, through experience, through gentle truth.
Always toward deeper relationship. Always toward love.
God is not quick to anger. Scripture explicitly says He is slow to anger.
And while His anger may be powerful, it is not something I have personally known.
What I have known is love—strong, disciplined, and safe.
Love that chooses healing over harm.
Teaches without wounding.
Does not delight in pain.
I don’t have answers for every mystery about God. But I do have lived experience. And in that experience, God has been the one being I do not fear.
He will not hurt you.
I’m writing this because too many people have been hurt by religion—by people who used God’s name like a weapon. When that happens, God Himself becomes the focal point of the pain.
I’ve been there too.
That’s why I once chose to write a novel without using the names God or Jesus at all—to show who they are without triggering the shutdown that religious trauma can cause.
So please hear this:
What people do with God—the harm they justify, the control they exert—that is not truth.
God is not angry with you.
He is not punishing you.
He is not planning your suffering.
He simply wants relationship.
God is love.
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