Why real love doesn’t divide people into parts
“Love the sinner, hate the sin.”
It sounds good on the surface.
Thoughtful. Balanced. Some might even say it sounds kind.
But I’ve been asking myself lately… does it actually reflect the kind of love we’re called to have?
Because that’s not actually how love works.
And this saying is not something the Bible directly teaches either.
It sounds right… but is it?
Scripture calls us to love people, fully and without condition, and it calls each of us to turn from sin ourselves.
But it never instructs us to divide a person into parts. There isn’t a version of someone that we’re told to love, and another version we’re allowed to hate.
Love doesn’t split people into parts
A while ago, I wrote something that’s stuck with me:
When you take a shower, you don’t get clean before you step in.
The whole point of the shower is to get clean.
The same is true with God.
People don’t come to Him after they’ve figured everything out. They come to Him messy. Complicated. Still struggling. And they are met with love first—not after.
When people become problems to fix
That’s why this phrase sits wrong with me.
Because in practice, “hate the sin” doesn’t stay neatly separated. It turns people into problems to solve. Projects to fix. Situations to manage.
And you can’t actively hold hatred toward something that is intertwined with a person’s life without it eventually bleeding into how you see them.
What actually helps people change
Take addiction, for example. It doesn’t live in one small corner of someone’s life. No, it weaves through everything: relationships, choices, identity, daily survival. It consumes.
But the opposite of addiction isn’t just sobriety.
It’s connection. It’s community.
And you will do far more for someone by offering steady, genuine love than by quietly holding a piece of them at arm’s length.
Because let’s be honest, no one feels safe enough to heal in a place where they feel judged.
You can’t expect someone covered in mud to feel comfortable stepping into your home for a shower if you’re flinching every time you look at them. If you won’t reach out your hand to help them up the steps.
The way God loved us first
God didn’t wait for you to be clean before He loved you.
Romans 5:8 tells us He loved us while we were still sinners. Not already improved. Or halfway there.
Just as we were.
So what are we really showing people?
And if that’s the model we’ve been given, then we have to ask ourselves:
Why do we feel justified adding conditions to our love for others?
Especially for the people who don’t even know Him yet.
Because if love is what draws people toward God… what exactly do we think our hatred is going to do?
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