When you work from home, it can be hard to carve out your work time from your family time. As a single mother of a very energetic five-year-old and an upcoming freelancer, I want to share what’s worked for me. A recent subscriber comment about struggling with family boundaries inspired this post—so if that’s you, here are some practical tips!
Disclaimer
This advice is based on my family dynamic, so it won’t fit everyone. Some might even cringe at the way I parent. If this isn’t for you, feel free to comment with your situation, and I’ll try to offer tailored advice. Judgmental comments will be deleted. Thanks!
Dealing with Mom Guilt
‘Mom Guilt’ is that mean voice in your head telling you that you’re a terrible parent, no matter what you do.
I named mine Chad (after that meme about male Karens). That’s your first step: recognize your mom guilt voice and give it a name—preferably one that reminds you it’s unreliable. Name it after your worst enemy or the dumbest person you know. Once you’ve named it, it’s easier to tell it to shut up, because you can give it a separate space in your mind. You can recognize Chad for what he is (sorry to any Chads reading this, you’re probably cool.) and remember he’s not who you listen to.
Keeping Evidence
Keep evidence of your work-life balance to prove Chad wrong. Track your family time in a journal—movie nights, baking together, adventures, whatever quality time you share.
Remember: a traditional job takes eight hours away from family daily. If you’re spending quality time with your family and getting work done, you’re doing great. Keep this evidence at your desk so when guilt creeps in, you can see proof that you’re balancing both.
Your family needs you to work.
Getting Family to Let You Work
This takes communication and patience.
Often, our kids and partners don’t know what we need when we’re working. Sit down and have that conversation: “I need to work from X time to X time. Here’s what I need from you.”
Be ready to compromise. I work with roommates who run their own business, so we negotiate schedules when they’re available, but otherwise I’m alone with my son and my job. What did I do then? Talked with my son. He now understands work time versus play time, and other than letting me know he needs snacks, he lets me work when it’s time. During work time, he entertains himself (video games, Netflix). During playtime, we do quality activities together like painting, gaming together, or baking.
I divide my days into work-focused or family-focused days. Some days I only work mornings and evenings, spending the rest with my son. Other days I work more, but I’ll take play breaks for him in between, especially at mealtimes when he helps me cook.
Permission
At the end of the day, you need to do what’s best for you and your family. What that will look like is going to be unique to your household, but I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to work from home.
You are allowed to set boundaries to work from home.
You are allowed to tell your children you’ll play in a bit, but right now you need to focus.
You are allowed to have a schedule that requires space from your family.
You are allowed to work.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk. (Haha)
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