Gentle advice for when the Big Sad feels too heavy to move through

I want to take a minute to talk about low-energy maintenance of our mental health.
This is advice for when you’re trying to maintain some resemblance of control over chronic depression—or simply when you don’t have the energy to take a walk in the sun or hop in a hot shower.

Sometimes, the Big Sad is just too big for us to do the self-care rituals we’re told will help.

Before I go further, I want to be clear with a disclaimer:

I am not a mental health professional. I’m simply someone who has lived with chronic depression and anxiety my whole life, and I’m here to offer advice for when it’s really heavy.

1. Track Your Energy Levels

Keeping track of your energy levels helps in so many ways — especially when planning for days that demand more from you.
Sometimes it’s simply awareness. Other times, you’ll start to notice patterns that give you a stronger sense of control. You’ll know when to schedule higher-energy tasks instead of playing Russian roulette with your days.

I use a bullet journal now to track my mood, energy, habits, and mental health symptoms.
When I wasn’t able to journal yet, I used a feelings tracker app and then augmented it for my energy instead. The smiley face, for me, meant high energy instead of happy. Most apps give you visible data over time and let you record entries right from your phone’s home screen—minimal effort required.

2. Work With Your Dysfunction, Not Against It

That’s our mantra here, you’re going to see it alot: work with your dysfunction, not against it.

When I have the energy to cook, I make extra and freeze it for later.
When my messy house was stressing me out, I noticed the biggest culprits were laundry and garbage. During low-energy times, those things piled up everywhere. So, I bought multiple laundry bins and garbage cans and placed them where Depressed Del tends to leave things. Problem solved — or at least softened.

3. Build Yourself a Reference List

Everyone’s coping tools are unique, but having a reference list can be a lifesaver when the Big Sad hits.
During deep depressive episodes, my brain forgets everything that helps me feel better. So I made a list — both in my journal and on my phone — that I can easily pull up when I need it most.

Here are some of the low-energy tools on my list:

🌤 Open the Drapes

Go around the house and open the curtains.
If it isn’t -40°C outside, crack a window too. On bad days, even if I can’t go outside with my son, I can still bring sunlight and fresh air into our home.

🕺 Move — Even a Little

Most advice about movement talks about workouts, but when you barely have energy to exist, push-ups sound like punishment.
So my rule is simple: any movement counts.

• A two-minute dance party with my son
• A few arm or back stretches
• Five squats while waiting for dinner
• Or my favorite: shake the sads out — literally shaking my arms, legs, and making ridiculous noises until we’re both laughing

🌬 Breathe with Awareness

Try to become more aware of your breathing—not just in the “inhale four, exhale four” sense, but by noticing where your breath moves through your body.
If you can anchor yourself in your breath, you can take back a little control. It’s especially grounding for those of us with anxiety.

🌻 Step Outside (Just a Little)

If you can, take yourself outside.
You don’t need to walk a mile—just sip your coffee on the front step.
If you’re outside your house, it counts.
Take a few steps out, plop down, and breathe.

💭 Final Thoughts

I hope these small acts help you hold your depression a little more gently.
This isn’t meant to be a cure or to make it disappear—it’s about being intentional with tiny actions so that the heaviness feels more like holding marbles than jagged stones.

If you’re a neurodivergent or chronically tired writer trying to balance creativity and care, you’re in good company here. Stick around for more honest conversations on writing, healing, and messy humanity. 💜

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